Words from Bill Alger

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What has been your favorite comic / cartoon work and why?

I particularly enjoyed helping a young Walter Disney create the character “Mortimer Mouse.” Walt later changed the name to “Mickey” and robbed me of the rights, but I’m not bitter.

What’s your favorite comic of all time?

For me, It has to be “Professor Beauregard Billingsley” This was a short-lived British humor strip from the 1940’s that ran in a small number of military newspapers. The strip followed the adventures of the absent-minded, but warmhearted, Professor Beauregard Billingsley, who taught at university when not investigating the brutal stabbing death of his beloved wife, Myrtle. Near the end of the strip’s run, it was revealed that the scatterbrained professor himself was the murderer and that he simply forgot his misdeed. The conscientious Professor immediately turned himself in and spent the rest of the strip’s run confined to a small prison cell where nothing remotely interesting ever happened.

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What is your current state of mind?

Squishy. My mind is currently squishy and kind of gray-ish. It’s also the center of my nervous system, according to Wikipedia. But Wikipedia often lies.

What’s your favorite time of day?

That time of day when our insect overlords allow us a time-out from caring for their puffy, coddled larva offspring to enjoy a smoke break outside. But I don’t smoke, so I roll dice with the kitchen staff.

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What inspired “June Comics”?

Pretty much the whole Old Testament of the Bible. Well, specifically the parts featuring a vengeful God. Talk about gangsta! In your face, bourgeoisie imperialists!

I have 2 dogs (labradors) that sleep with me at night, what should I do?

Record their dreams with a portable Dog Dreamometer™. Dog dreams are a great source of ideas and inspiration for aspiring writers and chiropractors alike. In fact, Bob Dylan often cured his writer’s block by shooting up his beloved tea-cup chihuahua with enough sedatives to induce R.E.M. sleep for a solid week.

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What is your motto?

“I don’t take no sassback from parasites, Mr. Tapeworm!”

What’s your least favorite medium to work with?

I hate finger painting with feces on a warm canvas. I know the kids today swear by it, and you can call me old-fashioned, but I strictly believe in using cold canvases.

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What do you most value in your friends?

I only befriend people with hearts of gold. Because these golden hearts are extremely valuable.

What super, secret, information can you provide your fans with?

Soilent Green is really a seaweed byproduct similar in texture to tofu.

Sandwich or Burrito?

I love a Sandwich-Burrito shoved into a Gyro, then baked inside a piping-hot Calzone. After removing it from the oven, I rush to an ice-cream shop to have it covered in sprinkles. I learned this recipe from a homeless man who spoke only Cantonese. At least, I think it was Cantonese…

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interview by Adam.